Not familiar with the Fresh Beat Band? Well, the FBB is to my sheltered six- and seven-year old girls what Justin Bieber is to... well, I suppose less-sheltered six- and seven-year old girls. In other words, they're a pretty big deal in my house.
Over the years, my husband has figured out how much I love these types of gifts, so he surprised the whole family this Christmas with tickets to see "Annie: The Musical."
"We're all going?" I asked.
"All six of us."
"Ty, too?"
"Sure! I think it'll be good for him to have a cultural experience."
"Did you just say the words 'cultural experience' without wincing?"
In all seriousness, though, I was super proud of my man. Having seen "Annie" at the historic Fox Theater himself as a child, he was really looking forward to today's matinee show. In the end, we had a fabulous day together. But I did learn several things while taking my children to see "Annie."
Eight things, in fact - mostly because my mind prefers even numbers. Just thought I'd share:
1. Some children come with more than one volume, but not mine.
They could have two, but only if you count "asleep." I can't tell you how many times we reminded the children today to always, always whisper in the theater. Apparently, whispering means speaking at the same volume, but making your voice sound a little hoarse. As in: "MOMMY, I CAN'T SEE AROUND THAT MAN'S BIG HEAD. CAN YOU MAKE HIM MOVE?!"
2. They should let you know that alcohol is available at these events as you're
walking in the door.
We decided to nip the whole snack battle in the bud by letting the children pick out one - and ONLY one - treat at the beginning of the show. Our motto is, "You eat what you get and you don't pitch a fit." I picked out a box a Rasinets, because I like to delude myself into thinking that something as healthy as a raisin surely cancels out the chocolate it's dipped in. I was just diving into my box of chocolat-y goodness when I saw a lady walk by with a glass of wine. By golly, they should have posted a sign somewhere. I was stuck with my chosen treat, but it might have been a whole different show with a little "mommy juice" on hand.
3. Sally Struthers' most recent weight loss attempts must be going as well as
mine.
Okay, I'm dating myself here because I'm assuming that everyone knows who Sally Struthers is. She's probably known to the older generation as that cute blond with the baby-doll voice who starred in All in the Family. To my generation, she's that overweight blond with the raspy baby-doll voice who shows up on infomercials selling fad diets. And to the generation after me? Well, I'm not talking to you...
Anyway, Sally Struthers got top billing in today's show as Annie's arch-nemesis, the infamous Miss Hannigan. And from the looks of things, she's eaten a few too many boxes of Rasinets. I'm going back to Weight Watchers
4. I sense a kindred spirit in that mean Miss Hannigan.
Even if Miss Hannigan hadn't been looking a tad pudgier today, I still would've viewed her in a different light. As the drunken head mistress of the miserable orphanage Annie hales from, Miss Hannigan is supposed to be the villan of the show. But as she staggered around the stage today singing "Little Girls," I found myself feeling sorry for a woman in charge of SO. MANY. GIRLS. I only have three and most days I feel like I'm "going to end up in the nut house with all the nuts."
"And the squirrels."
Maybe Miss Hannigan isn't a drunk. Maybe the woman is just plain tired.
5. Children will never ask the questions you expect them to ask.
My kids ask questions. All day. Every day. Seriously, they don't ever stop.
So yes - DUH - they were going to ask questions during the show. But I thought the questions might be about orphans. Or poverty. Or even the drunk (tired?) Miss Hannigan.
But, no. My kids wanted to know what was in all of those packages under Daddy Warbucks' Christmas tree. And who got to keep them after the show. And if they can be the kids in the show next time.
6. No matter how hard you work, your children will never quite look as cute in
public as you know they can.
Those pictures of my kids in the sidebar? That's as good as they get. And thanks to Andrea, I have some pretty spectacular photographs to document just how cute they can be. Lucky for me, because her camera doesn't necessarily capture my reality. My girls started out the day in dresses, bows, tights, and patent-leather shoes.
By the time we sat down in the theater, all that was left were the dresses. The bows were in my purse, the tights were in my pocket, and the shoes were on the floor.
7. If you're taking children to a musical production, buy the cheapest seats
available and pray - don't pay - for an upgrade.
My husband loves to treat his family, but taking a family of six - four of whom may or may not pay attention to the show - gets expensive. So while our noses certainly weren't bleeding, let's just say we were well-placed to make a hasty exit for the bathroom / water fountain / snack bar. Which - if you have a lot of kids - makes great sense... unless you forgot the binoculars at home.
I don't know how it happened, but despite their stripped-down, rag-tag appearance, my children managed to pull off "cute." Five minutes into intermission, a woman walked up and handed me a stack of 2nd row tickets. Let me tell you - when you're sitting in the second row of a theater watching "Annie," Miss Hannigan's fanny is larger, Annie's hair is curlier, and Daddy Warbucks' head is shinier than you can possibly imagine. And you don't need the binoculars you forgot at home. The children who were falling apart towards the end of Act I were mesmerized in Act II. Thank You, God, for that!
8. Just because the show is over doesn't mean the singing and dancing is done.
Apparently, "Annie" was a hit for the kids. Well, the girls, anyway. Ty was a little ticked that Sandy the dog only showed up twice during the whole performance. But Evie has a whole new repertoire of songs to sing in the car, Ella has a new movie addiction, and Emily's learning how to tap dance.
In high heels.
On my hardwood floors.
Oh, Annie. I just have a feeling that you're going to be the gift that keeps on giving.
5 comments:
I was thinking about you today, wondering how your big outing was going. Glad to hear you all had a great time. We will have to remember those 8 things you learned when we take that group to the Fresh Beat Band. Enjoyed the blog! It made me laugh because I can just picture all of it. Can't wait to hear Evie sing and Emily tap dance!
I am so jealous! I remember going to see Annie and I loved it! I remember Tyler enjoying it too, and I remember him falling asleep during Act 2. How amazing that you got 2nd row seats! That was God's great mercy!!! : ) I imagine you'll be hearing a lot of "It's a Hard Knock Life"!
Too funny! Keep up the writing!!
Loved this. Loved every part of it. You write on a level I can SO relate to.
....hope we have adjacent rooms in the nut house!
Too cute! Love your cultural man, the angel who delivered the 2nd row tickets, the movie maniac, tap-dancing gal (got that from her great Meme), singing waitress, and doggie-shortchanged boy. What a crew! LMN
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