Out of the Box

I'm about to cop to a level of nerdiness I've tried not to reveal before. You see, when I was thirteen, I had a friend with the most beautiful doll and the most amazing collection of doll accessories I'd ever seen. She was a 1940's catalogue doll named Molly - from the American Girl collection - and even though I was well past the age of actually playing with dolls, I coveted the Molly doll. But it was my little sister Julie who got her for Christmas that year; my other younger sister got the Victorian-era Samantha doll. I can't remember what I got, but I'm sure it was something much more age-appropriate than a doll.

I'm dating myself here, but in my day there was only one other American Girl doll available for purchase - a pioneer girl named Kirsten. Not wanting the same doll as my sisters, I found myself obsessing over the rather pricey pioneer. Eventually - at now fourteen years old - I spent the bulk of my babysitting savings to buy my very own American Girl doll. The rationale? "My sisters will have these beautiful dolls to pass on to their daughters one day and my daughter will feel left out!"

Ugh. I am such a nerd.

And God has a sense of humor, as I became the owner of one American Girl doll... and the mother of three daughters.

I had no idea at fourteen how enormously popular American Girl dolls would become. The catalogue is now a store and restaurant, Samantha and Kirsten are officially "retired," and I've lost count of how many historical dolls and friends are currently on the market. Plus, there's an entire collection of "My" AG dolls that you can pick from to match your child's skin, hair, and eye color. You can even purchase doll-sized ice skates, glasses, and head gear. No joke.

I wasn't sure any of my girls would be excited about a 20-year old doll that isn't even sold in stores anymore, but when Ella started asking for her own American Girl doll this past Christmas, I saw an opportunity. Kirsten looked so much like Ella, with her wavy, dirty blond hair and blue eyes. And since Kirsten's previous owner was too -ahem - old to play with dolls when she bought her, Kirsten looked brand new. I asked my mom to dig the doll out of storage and wrap her up for Ella to open Christmas Eve.

I was so excited about this 20-year gift-in-the-making, I could hardly wait for Ella to open her present. But I also wanted her to know how special the doll was. Yes, Ella could change her into whatever kind of doll she wanted, and even give her a new name, but this was my Kirsten doll - the one I had purchased especially for my daughter long before she was ever born.

I may have over-anticipated the moment.

Ella opened the box, gasped at the beautiful doll inside, and then... put the lid back on the box.

"I love my American Girl doll, Mommy. Thank you!"

"You can take her out of the box if you'd like, Ella."

"No, that's okay."

Ella carried her box around the entire night, cradling it in her arms the way most little girls would cradle the doll inside. When asked what her favorite gift was, she hugged her box tight and said, "My American Girl doll."

"Her name is Kirsten, Ella. You can name her something else though, if you'd like."

But Ella stuck with "my American Girl doll," and while her sisters and brother played with their new gifts, Ella sat with the box in her lap and a big smile on her face. It was - in the words of my sister - one of the saddest things we'd ever seen. Ella had no idea what to do with the gift inside her box.

I think this is what we Christians do with Jesus. He's an amazing gift - one that God the Father prepared and specially wrapped just for us. If we enter into the relationship with Jesus that the Father intended for us, the results are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22). But more often than not, we accept the gift and keep the lid on the box. "I'm happy with my gift of eternal life, God, but I think I'll just keep the other stuff tucked in this box."

Ella is making progress, though. After a week or so in the box, Kirsten finally made an appearace. For the past several months, she's been parked on the bookshelf where Ella can see her. But lately I've noticed Kirsten participating in more of the girls' playtime. She's even had her shoes off once or twice.

This Thursday is Ella's 7th birthday, and her grandmothers and I are taking her to the American Girl store for shopping and lunch. I'm taking a big risk, but Kirsten is coming with us. I think Ella might be ready to change her doll's clothes.

Or at least take a peek at them in their box.