April Showers

I started locking my bathroom door this week in what turned out to be a failed attempt at modesty. True, I'm accustomed to the applause of my children ("Good job, Mommy. You washed your hair!"). But the girls are getting older now, and after four years of showering with an audience, I thought it was time to shut the theater doors. Ella, ever her independant and opinionated self, disagreed. When the phone rang that first private morning, she picked the lock on the bathroom door, and marched in, telephone in hand.

"Mommy, are you washing your hair?"

"Ella, how did you get in here?!?!"

"Daddy's on the phone. Are you washing your hair?"

"YES! Now give Mommy the phone and go back outside!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm trying to be modest."

"Why?"

"Because showers are supposed to be private."

"Why?"

"JUST GIVE ME THE PHONE AND GO BACK OUTSIDE!"

She passed me the phone, and strolled slowly out the door just as Ty toddled in. Great. I gave the hubby a quick, "I'm-in-the-shower-I'll-call-you-back!" and tossed the phone on the floor. Meanwhile, Ty entertained himself with his second-favorite bathroom game: turning the bathtub knobs. He loves to turn them back and forth because he gets a kick out of learning how things work - and I get a kick out of surviving the intermittent flow of scalding hot and freezing cold water. He quit after a couple of minutes (but left the hot water running full blast, ensuring a VERY cold shower) and crawled over to play his first-favorite bathroom game: open the box and chew on a tampon.

Yep. You read that right. My kid is going to be in therapy for years. And not because he once chewed on a tampon like it was a cigar, but because I LET him chew on it... every morning.

Luckily, Evie walked in just as I was finishing up and took the offending feminine product away from my baby boy. Emily, right behind her, handed me a towel as I stepped out of the shower.

"You all done in the shower, Mommy? You all clean? Good job, Mommy!"

Well, I always did enjoy an audience.