Back to You, Al

As a mom, I spend the majority of my days focused on the following tasks: 1) keeping the children alive; 2) putting away all of their crap stuff; and 3) answering their tireless litany of questions. Unfortunately, there was something leaking out of Ty's ear this morning when I got him up, so Task #1 became the primary focus of my day. It took a major effort to herd my children to the Urgent Care down the street, but by 10:30 we were all checked in and parked in front of their wall-mounted flat screen - which was tuned to The Weather Channel. Clearly, the Urgent Care isn't used to herds of small children. Therefore, enter the litany of questions...

Why are we here?

How long do we have to wait for the doctor?

Why do they have a TV?

What are they doing on the TV?

Is that the weather man?

What's his name?

Why is he talking about the weather?

Is that a tornado?

What's a tornado?

What's a twister?

Why is a twister the same as a tornado?

Can a tornado pick up a person?

Can it pick up a car?

Can it pick up a house?

Is that tornado going to come to our house?

Where will we go if a tornado comes to our house?

But what if it does?

But what if it does?

Are you going to go in the closet, too?

Can we sleep in the closet?

Where is that tornado?

What is 'Braska?

OK, where is 'Braska?

Why did Grandma and Grandpa live in 'Braska?

Did they live in Mexico, too?

What is that red thing over Mexico?

What is a hurricane?

Is it like a tornado?

When can we go to Mexico?

Will the hurricane get us if we go to Mexico?

Why do they have rain on that map of Georigia if it's not raining now?

What day is today?

What day is tomorrow?

When is tomorrow?

So will it rain tomorrow?

What are we going to do tomorrow?

But what if it rains?

Will the rain make a flood?

What is a flood?

Did the ark really have all of the animals in it?

What about the dinosaurs?

Did the dinosaurs get on the ark?

Why not?

Were dinosaurs disgusting?

Did they stomp people flat?

Is God going to send another flood?

But why did He pick a rainbow?

Can I see a rainbow today?

Hey, who's that lady talking on the TV now?

Why is that her name?

Did her daddy give her that name?

Why is there a fire on the TV?

Are those helicopters?

If a fire comes to our house, will we get to see a helicopter?

But what if a fire does come to our house?

But what if one does?

But what if one does?

Oh, Mommy! That lady just said Ty's name! Are you coming?

Mommy?

Mommy?!?

Honestly, I'm still pretty focused on Task #1 thanks to Ty's monstrous ear infection. I'm just going to be kicking my other major tasks to the curb for the day. Unless my husband is willing to pick up the crap stuff and Al Roker's ready to field some questions...