When She Grows Up

If you ask Ella today what she wants to be when she grows up, she'll probably answer with Standard Little Girl Answer No. 1: a dancer. However, most adults can rarely make an occupational claim to their childhood fantasies. Were that the case for me, I'd be the "ballerina-pilot" I once aspired to in my elementary school days - taxiing down the runway in my tutu and celebrating safe landings with a swan-like bow. Of course, these days Delta would probably charge my passengers extra for the pirouettes and I'd eventually be out of a job.

Given that our early career plans are so often subject to change, I've been thinking about some alternate options for my almost seven-year old. One option I suppose could be "chef," since she's expressed interest in owning a restaurant someday. Of course, when I asked her what she wanted to serve, she replied, "Macaroni and cheese, pizza, and eggs." I admit that I haven't been able to serve much else to Miss Picky Palate, so I do have some - pardon the pun - reservations regarding this particular endeavor.

Another option could be meteorologist. Ella is fanatical about checking the weather on my phone every day. Which is a good thing, since I usually can't tell what the weather is going to be like until I stick my head outside. But Ella is quite confident in her meteorologic analysis. Once, while heading to a pool party in the middle of a monsoon, she announced to me that, "It won't be raining at the pool, Mommy. I checked the weather and it's going to be sunny and hot." The way I see it, Ella's just as good as our local weatherman, so I might just be able to get this kid a job without sending her to college!

Recently, I've also had to consider the possibility of opera singer - thanks to my dad, who showed Ella a YouTube video featuring Susan Boyle. The girl now sings in operatic style about everything: the color of her shoes, the state of her room, and the unfairness of life - specifically hers. It takes me to the days when, as a 6-month old baby, she had the power to shatter glass with her piercing screams. Back then, the pediatrician suggested I buy ear plugs. Guess who's getting the last laugh now, Doc. Someday, my little girl could be on stage reaching the octaves Mariah Carey only hits in her dreams!

My greatest fear, though, is that Ella will grow up to be a politician - because let me tell you, that little girl can LIE. Just tonight, I was questioning the kids about some stickers I found on the hallway banister. No big deal; I just wanted to remind everyone that we have stickers on nearly every surface in this house, and to please stop decorating my house with stickers. But it was quickly obvious to my husband and me that someone wasn't telling the truth. Fingers were pointing and eyes were welling up with tears, but we just weren't getting to the bottom of the situation - until I noticed Ella calmly eating her dinner and sipping on her water, looking as if she hadn't a care in the world. This is not standard issue behavior for my drama queen.

When asked "whodunit?" she calmly pointed a finger at Evie. When asked again, she pointed at Ty. After a few more minutes of prodding, she gave us the reliable Washington, "You know. I don't really remember if it was me or not," routine. Eventually, she was sent to her room and punished appropriately - not for the stickers, but for the lies.

Frankly, the whole evening weighs heavily on me. Ella is to me, by far, the most challenging of my children to parent, in part because she is the exact opposite of me. Not in the sin of lying (unfortunately, that is an area I CAN relate to) but in the way she carries her heart. I tend to be one who wallows in guilt and self-pity - the ugly stepsisters of a contrite spirit. But more often than not, Ella blames her bad choices on me, her sisters, or the imaginary "naughty bugs" in her room. Things are rarely, if ever, her fault.

Knowing this doesn't ever, for one fraction of a second, diminish the crazy, overwhelming love I have for my child. She is a treasure, and a gift from God - one that I wish came with an instruction manual I could study. But she didn't come with a manual. So the challenge for me, since Day 1 with this child, has been to study her. To explore her heart. To figure out her passions. To discover what speaks to her. Ultimately, my purpose as her mom is to show her the heart of God, and watch her revel in the crazy, overwhelming love of her Heavenly Dad.

Yes, my child lies. Yup, it's one of those Ten Commandments we're not supposed to break. Yes, I suppose if I'm being honest myself, it bothers me that the child I've worked so hard to "raise right" can be so flagrant in her sin. But motherhood isn't so much about me as it is the little girl I'm raising to adulthood. I don't know what she's going to be when she grows up, but if I study hard - if I get her heart - she'll have a growing relationship with the God Who loves her. And she won't be afraid to speak that truth to others.