Now it's time to take on Ty. Technically this is my third round with him, but I understand boys to be different (yes, in addition to the obvious), so I'm letting him take his time getting used to the whole idea. However, the boy has been changing his own diapers for a few weeks now. Should I take that as a sign that the window of opportunity is finally wide open???
Day 1
TODAY IS THE DAY!!!
It's Round 3, so I've learned a few things. First of all, I'm going in armed with the following: a step stool on which he can stand (past experiences indicate a standing preference), Lysol wipes (because of the standing), a container of Cheerios (maybe I'll use fewer wipes if he has something to "aim" for?), and
I still haven't figured out how to refer to his boys parts, though. Peter? Snooper? Wiener? The anatomically correct term? Usually, I'm the kind of mom who goes for the latter. However, my children are famous for speaking inappropriately in the most public of places. Great for the blog and all, but I'm not really sure I want to arm him with that information just yet. Oh well, something to think about...
Day 2
I seem to have forgotten something in all of my preparations.
Big Boy Underwear.
The boy has it in his head that he can't go pee-pee on the potty if he's still sporting a diaper. I suppose that makes sense, so I dropped the girls off at VBS this morning and took Ty on a very special outing to his second-favorite store. ("Lobby Lobby" ranks number 1. I'm simultaneously delighted and horrified...) Wal-Mart seemed like my best bet for success, because Ty was very specific about asking for Cars 2 underwear. I wasn't sure anyone was making Cars 2 underwear, but silly me, the movie is being released in 18 days so of course the local Wal-Mart is stocking Cars 2 underwear. As well as original Cars underwear. And Thomas the Train underwear. It was an emotionally-charged 20-minute decision, but Ty finally went with his first choice. I have to applaud him, because usually your first instinct is right on, don't you think?
We went out to the van and cracked those bad boys open because 1) I might as well start now, right? and 2) Ty was going to scream for Cars 2 underwear all the way home if we didn't. Of course, we didn't go right home because I had to pick the girls up from VBS and - of course - they all wanted to play on the playground. I asked Ty if he needed to go potty. He responded with an emphatic "NO." Three minutes later, Ty was swinging in a swing when I noticed a trickle running down his leg and a rather large puddle beneath him.
If you frequent our pre-school playground, don't use the red swing until we've had a good rain.
If you don't live in Georgia, no worries.
Day 3
Nothing to report other than several more puddles and a handful of drowned Cheerios.
Day 4
See Day 3.
Day 5
See Day 3.
Day 6
See Day 3
Day 7
If drowning Cheerios was a crime, I'd get the chair. I'm pretty sure we've gone through half a box of our Honey Nut stash in the last week. Did you know that it takes approximately 1 hour for a Cheerio to completely disintegrate in toilet water? Of course, this isn't so much experiment as observation. But if the pre-school decides to do a science fair next year, I've got a fantastic idea.
Day 8
I will throw a ticker-tape parade for this kid if he puts one thing - ANY. THING. - in the potty. I will not, however, give him an M & M, as I have regretfully consumed
Also, on a completely different note, I will not be weighing in at Weight Watchers this week.
Day 9
Ty still hasn't made one single deposit in the potty... and it turns out that a 7-pack of Cars 2 underwear doesn't go as far as one might think. I've done 23 loads of laundry this week.
By the way, if you're over at my house anytime soon, stay away from the rug in the sun room. And the playroom. And the family room. Just a suggestion...
Day 10
This kid really has an affinity for rugs. I swear, it's like training a puppy. Would DeFACS frown on me for sticking Ty's face in the puddles and swatting his nose with a newspaper?
Ha ha, I'm just kidding! I haven't done that.
Yet...
Day 11
Inspiration struck me while watching the news today. Ty's still making Number 1 on the rug, but I think I finally have an appropriate name for his boy parts. In light of recent Washington events, what do you think of "The Congressman?" I think it makes a real statement myself.
Day 12
Ty and the Congressman finally managed to make pee-pee on the potty.
No, he really did go... ON the potty.
Sure enough, Ty finished his "stand here with the Congressman in hand and try" routine, pulled up his pants, then closed the potty lid, stood on top of the potty, and relieved his bursting bladder - wait for it - ON TOP OF THE CLOSED POTTY. Of course when I heard him yell, "I went pee-pee on the potty, Mommy!" I went sprinting to the bathroom with the ticker tape ready, only to find him standing on the lid and soaked down to his shoes. And the puddle beneath him? Just like a homing pigeon, it was headed straight for - you guessed it - the rug.
Day 13
Ty is on a mission to christen every rug in the county. I'd like to offer specific apologies to my mom, the girls at the gym, and my chiropractor. And also to my daughters, who were in the bathtub when their little brother bi-passed the Cheerios and aimed for them instead.
That was NOT the shower Mommy had intended for you, girls.
Day 14
Congressman Weiner resigned today. So did I.
the whole bag
a bag of M & M's
8 comments:
The unintended shower had me cackling, as did the "congressman" (and I'm saving that should I ever have a son). As far as your rugs, I recommend Nature's Miracle (you will find it, and perhaps some useful training tools, at your local pet store).
OK, you lost me on the "congressman"....I was doubled over in hysterics for about 5 minutes. That's about the funniest thing you have written. Ever. I was okay, until you resigned, and then I doubled over in laughter again. Oh, my eyes are watering! Was that a subliminal suggestion with a title having so many "T"s in it? TT? Just sayin' LMN (I'm guarding my rugs tomorrow!)
I, too, am in tears over "the Congressman" and wish my boy wasn't six... I wonder if it's too late to retrain him on what to call his "parts". I laughed out loud several times, and it's not even 6:30 a.m. around here. If I pay for it by waking sleeping children, I think it might still have been worth this amazing read!
Are you kidding me with this? Book worthy! At least monthly column worthy!! I say this every time, but seriously one of the funniest things I have ever read! I'm not sure if I like "Congressman" or "Snooper" better! HILARIOUS!!!!! I HATE potty training!!!!!
I think this is one of the funniest posts I have ever read. The congressman was way funny but I think every quip made had me cracking up. And how about how I feel kind of guilty that Ella is not even in pull ups yet with the 3rd birthday just next month. She is just not interested but I am also not trying very hard either. I may now just to have a fun story like yours. :)
Wow! I think whenever I'm in need of a good laugh, I'm going to come back to this post. I'm finally catching up on reading "my" blogs, and I'm glad I went back to read yours!
I found you courtesy of Julie Wiederstein after she mentioned this post specifically. Great reading!
With our son, we started calling his parts "boy bits" as soon as he was born. It stuck, but got shortened to "bits". He now knows the anatomical names for all those parts (he's 6 now, and I wanted him to know them before he started school), but "bits" seems like a very innocent name that other people aren't going to pick up on in public.
But I'm one of those moms who would rather hear a boy in the grocery store waxing poetic about his penis than about his weiner.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read a bunch more of your blog. :)
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