More Trials, More Tribulations

It's been thirty days since I wrote this post, documenting a complete inability to potty train my son. Thirty days of wet pants. Thirty days of extra laundry. Thirty days of abused rugs. Thirty days of tears - a few of his, but mostly mine.

But since misery loves company, I thought it was time to share... my misery.

Day 15

I quit potty training yesterday. Just gave FLAT. OUT. UP. Ty's back in diapers and hardly notices the difference, since his Pull-Up, like his big boy underwear, has Cars characters on it. That boy is just all about Cars.

The problem is, time is ticking away. Ty can't go to pre-school until he's potty trained. And Mommy really need him to go to pre-school.

Day 20

My mom thinks maybe I gave up too soon. She said this while watching my son change his own diaper. Maybe she's right. What if I was just one day away from diaper freedom and I threw in the towel? I'm going to do some more research. Maybe there's a radical new training method I missed.

Day 21

Research sucks.

Day 22

Mom thinks Ty needs some visual motivation for his efforts. I showed her my empty bag of M&M's, but she thinks the boy might need something BIGGER. Her friend's friend's daughter's kid was apparently difficult to potty train, but was eventually motivated by seeing a big, wrapped present dangling over the potty. I think the method is called "Present for Pee-Pee," or something like that. I'm willing to try anything at this point.

Day 23

Mom and I went shopping tonight to try and find the perfect Present for Pee-Pee. We figure that the key is, it needs to be BIG. We finally settled on a T-ball set and bought some Cars paper to wrap it in. If a big package wrapped in Cars paper doesn't work, nothing will.

As we were heading to the check-out line, we veered off to the book section to see if there was any additional potty research we'd missed. We found a children's book called The Potty Book for Boys. It comes with flushing toilet sound effects. Basically, if your child isn't afraid of the sound of a flushing potty before pushing that book button, he'll be totally freaked out after. That is one seriously scary flush. I think Ty has enough issues, so we just went with the T-ball set.

Day 24

Ella is so excited about Ty's present, she can't shut up about it. She and the twins are dying to find out what's inside. They keep dragging their brother to the bathroom every 3 minutes and making him stand in front of the potty with his Congressman out. They're all getting pretty frustrated with Ty's lack of progress. The last time they were in there, Ella said, "Come on Ty. This is your moment, boy. Make it count!"

Day 25

I think the Congressman has stage fright. The girls are no longer allowed in the bathroom with their little brother.

Day 31

"Present for Pee-Pee" has not been a stellar success. Every time Ty wets his pants, I ask him, "Don't you want to open your BIG present, Ty? You have to put your pee-pee in the potty if you want to open your BIG present!" He usually replies, "I'll open it tomorrow, Mommy."

Day 33

I threw away my bathroom rug today. Ty informed me that, "It's not tomorrow yet, Mom."

Day 35

At the beginning of this process, I was worried about getting Ty potty-trained in time for pre-school. Now I'm starting to worry that he might not make it in time for the 6th grade. I mean, middle-schoolers can be brutal!


Day 37

"Present for Pee-pee" is now plural. So far, Ty has been promised the following: the Cars-wrapped T-ball set, a shopping trip with Daddy, ice cream with Mommy, an overnight visit to Grandma's house, and a spend-the-day at Nana's house. If I didn't know better, I'd say this kid is negotiating for the deed to the house. It may come to that.

Day 38

I had a dream last night. Ty was 16 and asking to borrow the car. I told him, "Yes. So long as you make pee-pee in the potty first."

Day 39

It's tough love time. I've been way too accommodating to this kid, and now it's no longer Mr. Nice Mom. The gloves are off. From now on, he cleans up his own mess on the floor and gets hosed down in a cold shower every time I find him sitting in wet pants. Ty hates the shower.

I know this is going to work. In fact, I'm so confident this is going to work that I'm calling the carpet cleaners and making an appointment. Ty has tinkled on every floor of this house except the stairs and my germophobic brain is starting to shut down.

Day 40

Ty took six showers yesterday. This morning, he walked upstairs with his hands on his face and announced he'd had an accident. "It's okay, Mommy," he said, as he peeked out between his fingers. "I'll just cover my eyes while you hose me down!"

Oh, and he tinkled on the stairs.

Day 41

I sent the girls away for a weekend at Nana's. It's my last-ditch attempt at training Ty before throwing in the towel - or any more of my rugs - again. My husband and I decided that perhaps Ty is just too overwhelmed by the size of an adult potty. And our little potty isn't very (ahem) "boy-proof" so we drove to the store to pick out a new one.

They sell a Cars potty.

It has a stick shift and everything. Really. Ty can sit on his throne and push the stick forward (and his Congressman down). It makes a revving sound when he pushes it - the stick, not the Congressman - and I'm telling you that the kid is going to LOVE it!

Day 42

WE HAVE A DEPOSIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ty insisted on keeping his new potty in his room last night. At 6:30 this morning, I heard him yelling for me, "Mommy! I went pee-pee on the potty!" I have to admit that I did NOT go running into his room. I've heard that announcement before, only to have my hopes dashed and another rug ruined. But he did it - and he went sprinting nude down the hallway as soon as I opened his door yelling, "I'm going to open my present now!!!"

Needless to say, my husband was playing T-ball with the boy at 6:35 this morning. After 7:00, we started calling the grandparents. Nana said something to the effect of, "Wow - just think if you'd bought that Cars potty a few weeks ago!"

They didn't sell Cars potties a few weeks ago. It's brand new on the market.

I HAVE to believe that, anyway.

Day 43

Ty can only go potty if the toilet has a stick shift. I'm going to have to teach him to drive an automatic before pre-school starts.

Sigh.

Six weeks and counting...